The first 1001 days

The first 1001 days, from conception to two years, is the unique period of opportunity when the foundations of optimum health, growth, and neurodevelopment across the lifespan are established.

As an early years practitioner I have known how important these formative years are, however it is now slowly being more recognised in society. I am so passionate about supporting those precious early years, I see how attachment, nurturing our babies to feel safe, secure and loved as they grow is so important for long term positive wellbeing.

As a baby they are absorbing all of the experiences, their brain is rapidly growing and those first experiences are making an imprint for life already. We often assume that our babies are fine, though the mind forgets, the body holds onto those early experiences. It is therefore important to consider things such as pregnancy, birth and the early years from the point of view from a baby or young child.

To consider them wholly, to consider the physical, emotional, mental and external factors that may be affecting them.

However, for our little ones to be nurtured parents must too be nurtured and supported in those precious early years, sadly I feel there is a long way to go to change society beliefs but I feel that change is coming. Parents are shifting from the way we are parenting our children, shifting the generational beliefs and values upon our parenting.

parenting

We are beginning to parent differently from our parents, grandparents and our ancestors, we are beginning to break the generational patterns and beliefs. We often parent in the way we were parented, often that was perhaps an authoritarian/dictatorial way or perhaps at the other end as permissive, they may have swung in either direction or in the middle, you may have had two parents with very different styles.

As children we soak up all of this and these shape our values and beliefs as we grow up, we may want to parent our children very differently but find ourselves morphing into our parents. Ever found yourself talking to your child and your mum or dad comes out of your mouth? We have all been there

Conscious parenting is the term used to describe a style of parenting that usually focuses more on the parent and how being mindful can drive parenting choices. It simply is the process of instead of trying to ‘fix’ our children, be it sleep, behaviour or more, often wanting the quick fix too, we instead look within at ourselves.

Conscious parenting has not been something I practiced with my older three boys, I definitely had a tendency to want to ‘fix’ them, of course I was loving and nurturing and I had a fierce need to protect them and I knew I wanted to parent a very different way in the way I was brought up too.

However, conscious parenting for me has been the key to unlock them to enable my children to be free and unlock their true identity. A lot of this has been through my own healing journey and reparenting myself. Letting go of the beliefs I had carried that were not mine but that unconsciously I was projecting to my children.

However, I can’t honestly say I have a style of parenting I try to be conscious and mindful but there are times when I turn in to shouty mum too. We are all humans and our little ones can be incredibly triggering.

I am not here to judge your parenting style, often I’m drawn to parents who are more on the gentle, mindful and intuitive way naturally. I recognise that we are all very different and have very unique parenting styles.

There are no perfect parents in the world, often we are just winging it and trying our best to bring up decent human beings.

I grew up experiencing childhood trauma as I have mentioned, much of that was through fear from a controlling and violent dad, however thankfully my mum was just amazing so loving and responsive.

However I still carried so much of the beliefs and unhealed trauma with me in to my own parenting. Acceptance and letting go of some of the mum guilt ( I’m still trying there) has helped me so much in my own parenting.

Also acceptance of my children in their whole selves too, not trying to fix them but seeing their own unique gifts. In my own journey I have learnt that each of my children require a different version of mothering from me too. So therefore no I don’t have a fixed parenting style but I am trying to be more conscious.

When we choose to look inwards and heal ourselves generations of children are set free, the most effective way to raise emotionally intelligent children is to become what we want to see in them first.

In view of everything I have learnt through my learnings, qualifications, being a mother and everything I have been through during my life both the darkest and lightest of times, I have created my own method to support mothers and their families.

“There is always light after the storm”

Happy to introduce you to the Nurturing H.E.A.R.T.S Method which you will find embedded with each and everyone of my services.