My journey of motherhood

My own journey of motherhood has had its own ups and downs along the way, its not been a straight path that’s for sure. Sometimes it has been a zig zag path, a gentle stroll or a complete uphill struggle.

I have been you, I am just a little further ahead, I became a mum as a young naive 19 year old. The young ‘good girl’ who ‘should’ of been enjoying life at university. Instead I found myself moving from Yorkshire to Kent to take on the unknown.

However the minute I set eyes on my little boy I knew I was gifted motherhood for a reason, I relished in my new role. At 19 I was often judged, always the youngest at baby groups, being shy and anxious didn’t help with making friends however I loved being a mum it was my soul purpose, my calling.

When it came to baby number two things were so different, a stressful rainbow pregnancy, a diagnosis of bells palsy, birth trauma and a baby who suffered with colic, undiagnosed reflux and intolerances and who unlike his big brother hated sleep.

He was to be my most highly sensitive one, the one who taught me so much too. However, there was postnatal anxiety which led to postnatal depression by the time baby number 3 arrived 20 months later.

Those early years of parenting 3 under 6 are such a blur of sleep deprivation, unhealed trauma from childhood and becoming a mother which led to postnatal depression and the breakdown of my marriage.

I have been the sleep deprived mum, who was told to sleep train her baby but went against the grain as I could not leave him to cry. I have been the mum with the unsettled child at baby groups, the mum struggling with her child’s behaviour on a plane. The mum running for her work train in tears after dropping off her upset child at nursery. The mum worried she was getting it all wrong, the mum who hid her tears behind the fake smile, the mum who also tried her best and loved her boys with her whole being.

I was yet to discover the highly sensitive traits of my boys, though all three were very different and all required mothering in a different way. My first you could say was a text book baby, my second spirited but oh so sensitive and my third oh how I worried about him, he was selective mute and so shy. Yet wow have they all grown and stepped onto their own unique paths at times I wish I could go back to my 25 year old self and tell her it would all be ok.

At the time I was also working as a nursery nurse, supporting children and families despite not having the support in place for myself. Deep in my heart I loved being a mum and supporting families but I could not do it all.

I did seek some help and my husband and I got back together and son number 4 arrived in 2010. After such a positive pregnancy and home birth he brought so much love with him in to our household.

It was such a different experience my confidence as a mum at that time was so high, acceptance and being in the moment as a conscious parent helped so much.

I began childminding then to try and create a work life and family life balance ( no I didn’t get it right, does anyone?) I loved this role and worked with such beautiful families who have become lifelong friends and an extension of our own family.

I then began learning once again enrolling in my Early Years degree with the Open University with the then vision of becoming a teacher. That was it my love of learning was born, whilst studying my degree I also trained as a maternity nurse and an holistic sleep coach.

Sleep always captured me, having being that parent obsessed with sleep with a little one that didn’t sleep for six years! Though it was always something I was asked about with the families I worked with.

So, I gained a First in my degree but decided to not go into teaching but instead set up my own sleep coaching business in 2016. People thought I was mad for not going into teaching and having a ‘stable’ job.

My gentle and attachment focused techniques were a success and I began working with many sleep deprived families. I also trained in many other modalities including baby massage and yoga.

In 2017 we welcomed our fifth son, he was such a sensitive soul too. My instincts really kicked in and I could see his struggle with reflux and intolerances, thankfully I was able to use all my knowledge and experience to help him and we had such a positive experience in his early years.

By 2018 my business which was then known as Sweetbeginnings Babycare was flourishing with sleep consultations and the added services of baby massage and yoga, in 2019 I opened up my own parent and baby venue, The Nurturing Hearts Hub, this was the dream and I loved supporting local families with classes and support groups and more.

In 2019 I became a nanny with the birth of my granddaughter and my role adjusted once again

2020 oh what a year, the year everything changed! My venue was closed and I found myself in a new role as teacher to my boys (I am so pleased I decided not to go into teaching) things changed a lot and my business went fully online. 2020 was the year of my breakdown but also my breakthrough.

I finally began my own healing journey, I had been working so hard for everyone else, my boys, my family and my clients that I had forgotten me in the process. This was when I began my own healing journey, initially I had gone on a course to support my clients I never expected the personal transformation I would go on.

I was introduced to the emotional development cycles and energy healing which helped me to begin healing my inner child wounds, my mother wounds and more. As a child I grew up witnessing domestic abuse and I carried a lot of this trauma into my own mothering, not healing from PTSD, birth trauma, my postnatal experiences and grief had left its mark.

Healing is an ongoing process and thankfully I have learnt amazing modalities that help me each day with that process, in doing so I have not only connected with my boys at a deeper level but also with myself. One of the big things has been able to accept all of me, the sensitive side too. For so many years I tried to fit in with an insensitive world as a highly sensitive person and empath, I am finally shining my sensitive gifts with the world.

So the last two years has seen me train in many modalities including The heal and thrive energy healing method, NLP (Neuro linguistic programming), Hypnotherapy, Time line therapy, EFT (emotional freedom technique) and more.

It has just been life changing, for so long I have been supporting families but what I realised was, it was never deep enough, it was always more than sleep. Becoming a nanny for the second time in 2021 was to also bring about more trauma for the family, he had a difficult arrival into the world and spent some weeks in NICU this experience itself has changed my perspective surrounding birth and how birth trauma and the postnatal period ripples through families. He is thankfully now thriving!

I am now embracing a new way of working as me Claire Holness, The Mamas Mentor

I am now able to support you and your family in ways that will help break generational beliefs, heal deep rooted trauma, support you emotionally, help you consciously parent and deepen your attachment with your children, help you to relax and be in the moment, support your transformation in to motherhood and support you every step of the way with all things baby, toddler and mothering.

I am here to Nurture H.E.A.R.T.S with The Nurturing Hearts Method™️

Much love

Claire xx

 Professional experience and qualifications

I have invested thousands in high level training to bring you a gold standard service, not only has it been an investment in my business but also myself and my family.

I have over 18 years experience working with young families as a:

Qualified nursery nurse

Qualified Maternity nurse

7 years as a childminder

I am a highly qualified Early years professional

BA (hons) Early Years (1st) Open University

Holistic sleep coach

Baby massage and yoga instructor

Newborn nurture consultant

Colic, reflux and allergies level 4

Mindful breastfeeding

Energetics of birth trauma

Perinatal mental health practitioner

Life and breakthrough coach

Master Neuro linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner

Master hypnotherapy practitioner

Master Time line therapy practitioner

Heal and Thrive practitioner

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) practitioner

Continuous CPD training, always keeping up to date and always learning.

I am also a published author after contributing to three books, Mumprenaur on fire 3, Love letters for new mothers and Motherlight. I have also had articles featured in publications notably Netdoctor.com